What follows is a long response of mine to others during a post discussion about suicide.
But madam, I’ll tell you and anyone else listening a little more of my story which is way more complex than this forum can accommodate. First while my mother was going through all of her horrific lack of compassion and appropriate care by a failed system I was battling a major health issue of my own while at the same time actually fighting a BLUE state Government that is so corrupt they have been running it like the NAZIS of the World War II era or perhaps more akin to the Mafia and other organized crime syndicates! But in spite of that I was driving to the nursing home and spending at least 6 hours a day 7 days a week to be with my mother and sing with her many songs she sang to me as a kid to help her in ways that the staff at the facility were not going to do because they lack the help or desire to change things! I made up CD’s with all of her favorite music as she was a trained soprano singer through most of her adult life and sang beautifully, but now was a shell of a woman and that person we all knew here! I was able to reach into her mind and soul I dare say to give her a little hope to keep trying to push on! The facility would rather dope them up and let them shut down! Basically the criminals of my State are getting their way and screwing the public; and my mother was a MARTYR! You get it now? I am too, but I won’t go down without a @ucking fight to the finish; I am one determined SOB!
All I hear when people talk in these forums is very much patting on the back or lip service even though many of you have sincere intentions this will not change unless we go to the heart of the problem at hand which is the outright corruption in our government and the corruption of human hearts and souls today in this very self-centered, materialistic world! Life has been cheapened and discounted like so much merchandise with a price tag on everything and on you and me! I spoke to the head of the alliance for quality care during this ordeal with my mother and she had her head manager talk to the point person at the facility with me to no avail because the woman entrusted with the authority of the nursing home was not going to agree with my suggestions due to her only being interested in appeasing the corporation and her own JOB! This became a merry-go-round ride dealing with a pointless bunch of people that did nothing to change the equation but I could see plain as day what needed to be done. So I had to just put myself in the place of professionals and give my mother the therapy she needed as ill-equipped as it was, that was the only life line she was going to get, they were letting her go and die basically; and that must have been hell for my mother in her mind and soul to be feeling such loss and oblivion in her state of mind!
Anyone, I know if they were under the pressure I was and have been; would have given up long ago and jumped! And, I’m not telling you the half of it here! I’m like my mother a damn determined SOB and nobody on Gods earth is going to stop me if I stay alive to fight! My mother having been in another facility that an incompetent sassy ass sister of mine placed her in without my approval fought to hang in there; but at that facility she fell hitting her head more than twice getting concussions and then went on to fall during a period when I was very ill and not around at all, to fracture her hip leading to a need for surgery! I believe from my own investigation that my mother’s injuries were not all accidental, but lack of appropriate care and management at the facility and possibly there was an assault upon my mother by others there! And all of this mind you was happening to a sick old woman with Alzheimer’s disease! I got involved 24/7 at that point sick and all and fighting my own battle with a corrupted system that violated my Constitutional Rights in another matter big time, and the system was not going to come close to worrying about my mother the way I was nor should they for all I care! But they should have had the means to accommodate the patient and bring to bear all of this technology and science we have at our finger tips but they didn’t!
My mother was written off like many are! This is a fight we are in here in America and the World, a big one! Evil is in play and many of you don’t address the ROOT problems! It’s a passing of the buck scenario and BS like this person over here knows better when they don’t! I met more incompetent under qualified or criminally negligent doctors in the past 8 years than you can shake a stick at! And I’ll toss this in, the facility where my mother ended which had a supposed decent reputation had part-time doctors that pop in and a few of them are Muslim right from the Middle East and don’t connect at all with our ideology and actually prescribed Tramadol to my mother before I caught on which is the worst medication to give an Alzheimer patient for pain after a surgery!
I sometimes see into the heart of a matter in ways even the doctors cannot or will not bother to try, because they know full well what is up with all this crap going on! Think of it this way, remember when former POTUS Bush said MISSION ACCOMPLISHED when the first strike in Iraq was completed and he was all smiles and saying we have the upper hand in this war with Saddam Hussein and our terrorist enemies that attacked America in NYC, when it fact the WAR had hardly begun! That is what we are all facing a very ugly and huge WAR that is going to get worse so how do we defend ourselves and prepare for the many battles ahead? Not by passing the buck or kicking the can down the road!
First we have to root out all corruption and those that don’t do their job and boot their asses out of the way or into JAIL! There are those that are so criminally negligent I dare say we should build more prisons to put them in; then the rest of us could work together to fix this broken and dilapidated system of care and governing of the people we now have!
The only solace I have is knowing that my very faithful and religious mother is in Heaven, I have no doubt about that; she sure deserves it and was a good woman and the best in so many ways, but a damn fighter too, maybe not a smart fighter but lots of guts and determination, HEART! Yea she is where she wanted to end up so her suffering in this screwed up world is over and I’m here to maybe do something for God and her to make her legacy one of goodness and the real power being brought to bear on this madhouse, God’s power and Glory to wake this world up before it’s too late!