Courage to Change

“This is who I am”

Inspired by my Christian Sister Ali this opening script are her words that started an inferno in my heart to hear what the Lord is saying about change!

“We can carry around emotional junk for years without realizing how it’s impacting us.”

“Thank God for Ali”

Yes Ma’am Ali….You nailed it down here as to how we many times keep house and how we should keep ourselves tidy or organized, in another sense prepared or even just preparing for additional changes coming or necessary alteration and altercations that life here on earth can throw at us; because we aren’t in heaven yet; not by a long shot!

cargo ship listing full docu

I was initially caught up in the truth of what you said pertaining to me literally as far as the physical stuff in my life, all the extra baggage, and if you saw what I mean you would have pity on me I’m sure, you might even offer your services for a fee to streamline this ship I dwell within!  It’s like a cargo ship of sorts a heavy laden vessel, and never mind a cargo hold the whole place is one!!! How did I do this to myself?  It started small like your story analogy with a junk draw then two, three and four, but after a while that didn’t work no more!  So, then a closet became another even larger junk storage location, to keep just about anything I could fit into it that I wasn’t sure what to do with or thought do I really want to part with this thing, or maybe I’ll have some use for it someday, right?

runaway-train blurring web

Sure I could deceive myself easily once this ball got rolling gathering up more of its own inertia until it was a bloody freight train roaring down the tracks with a mind of its own basically telling me to stay out of the way and I’m just along for the ride now! Who is running this train anyway, it sure isn’t me and as far as I know I’m present and accounted for, but, there has to be somebody else around running this building catastrophe? 

Runaway Train Voight web

Now that my garage has taken on the appearance of the closets what can be next?  The whole property becomes a draw of junk or buried under so much of this stuff I’m living in a“Junk Yard?”  I remember as a teen me and a couple of buddies would love heading over to some what we called “Junk Yards” or auto salvage businesses where all sorts of neat old cars were lying around because they still had some useful parts or even a motor that could be scavenged or brought back to operating condition with a rebuild and as we said back then, dropped into a hot-rod, making for a really cool machine!

Old Chevy web

Things got nipped in the bud in those days because if I brought one junk car onto my parents property, my dad would say something like, “what are you doing with that piece of junk,” to which I would reply, well dad it’s a really cool car and needs some parts and fixing up but it’s going to be a really nice car.  He would say, “Look, a car to me is transportation to get me to and from work or from here to there but not to pile up on my property because it can be cool.”  He would then give me an ultimatum to have it off the property by a certain day or he would have the rubbish hauler come take it away, “so hurry and sell it or junk it.” Of course as an adult I’ve had many years to develop whatever habits I want and account to no one but myself right?  So, here I am with lots of things that need a home or a “Junk Yard” but, certainly not here where I live and make my home!  And this is just the literal material Junk we are talking here in my life, because we haven’t even touched the surface of what it’s like on the inside or in the figurative sense, “the worries or clutter in the mind” or the not letting go of that which is “not helpful and practical” as my dad always called it, so too that a person frees them-self from the “things that make us weary” which Jesus was referring to in the scripture you kindly left! “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest…” (Matthew 11:28 NLT)

Perhaps this verse or little prayer is key in this dilemma,

“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change…the Courage to change the things I can…and the Wisdom to know the difference.”

The part here where it says “Courage to Change,”  I’ve been a bloody coward not letting go of many things that I don’t need or actually want on my back, but built up a false sense of security by holding onto anything and everything that is attached to yesterday and the past, remembrances and keepsakes that never did what I thought they would for me by holding them tight, so I just kept holding onto additional things perhaps subconsciously thinking these will do the job, but, they never do!  I have to do the job not things or anyone else, just me with God” who is there for me always to give me the confidence to just let go and move on!  Man this is so awakening and hard too, because being overly sentimental I have allowed not only things to pile up but my emotions of past times or joys long since passed, just never gotten over them or been resolved, the fact that they are gone now and won’t matter tomorrow because tomorrow brings a new day and a new dawn or awakening of who I really am, NOW, I’m not back in the past I’m in the here and now and this is who I am!  This reminds me of something else dad would say when I was growing up how, “some people can’t live down their past or let go of it!”

LAM 3 22 webjpg

But, now by your nice insightful essay, you remind us how Jesus Christ can solve any problem or help us through any difficulty we may experience but we have to be honest and really turn it over to Him and then ask him to show us the way we need to go or how to handle one thing or another, to move forward making progress!  What I did was allowed, illusion or a facade to transfix me on past, thinking it can remain when it cannot and is gone, so it’s time to move away from the past and leave it where it belongs both physically and emotionally, as sad as that might be, it is what is best!  “Everything has its proper place,” was something dad like mom said many a time to me and my siblings when we were growing up; learning what life is all about!

God bless you sister in Christ Jesus,

Lawrence Morra

And entertaining character study adventure film you may like, Runaway Train

runaway-train poster web

Photos courtesy of the following:

rt.com   iamnotastalker.com   free-diy-plans.com    youtube.com   iamnotastalker.com

free-diy-plans.com  kinolorber.com   flickminute.com   mountaintownnews.net

 depositphotos.com

 

Author: Lawrence Morra

Have worked in creative and news visual media as a photographer or cameraman and this POV has given me a better insight or view of the world. The Cameraman's POV. His Perspective on many things. All content on this site is copyrighted© by Lawrence Morra/Zero Lift-Off. All rights reserved. Email: lmor3@aol.com

2 thoughts on “Courage to Change”

  1. Hi Lawrence !
    Great post.
    I can identify with what you are saying here.
    My husband is very sentimental, and likes to keep treasures from his happy life.
    I respect this about him, and I help him to keep his treasures organized, and on display. Yesterday I polished his little silver baby spoon.
    We all have different levels of attachment to things. 🌷🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG, see how God works my dear friend Sally! 🌷🤗 Thank you for your insight and loving consideration because I weep here! I even have to say to myself for a fairly intelligent person how could I allow myself to be overpowered by my own emotions? Am I too insecure or maybe like I said in the article there is a comfort in trying to hold onto the past like your husband has a bit as well! Sadly, in this plane of existence the seconds tick by and each progressive tick takes us further away from where we once were! It’s really academic and plain as the new dawn each day! In heaven we won’t have any such dilemma being filled with God’s love and eternal glory and it will all be timeless or a constant state of being, not changing and trying to be; but actually being in eternal bliss! Your husband and I along with so many multitudes of humans can be in that place someday and this will all be such a little foolish diversion that I took making things harder for myself and perhaps others around me. My dad I remember once saying, “there comes a time to let go of something and that life will always be that way as you get older you will have to do it.” That saying which comes from the Bible and I’m sure you know it off the top of your head, when I was a child I spoke like a child and did the things a child does but when I grew up or became an adult I gave up those things of my childhood. Not exact but the actual meaning I recall! But, yes you hit the nail on the head Sally; there is a good thing in this, but, not to excess, it should be done in moderation and with some balance, like you’re are able to provide in the situation with your husband, which is a great gift for both of you to balance it and have structure and purpose to it! I lack that and I saw the monstrosity of it all how it is just a headache and heartache! If I do the right thing with it all, then it will be a happy and purposeful fulfillment, which I’m sure God would be so happy about as well! You see you’re a very intelligent and wise woman, and I’m a guy that loves actually to get constructive criticism, and even have a good person poke holes in my narrative anytime, I won’t be offended if it is TRUTH! I want that more than anything, to be given a mirror and told to look that is you; and not being married and having the great enormous blessing your good husband had bestowed upon him is the symmetry and balance of this life that we all need, but not everyone gets, and so unfortunately I’m at some disadvantage presently! Some people, family or friends over the years warned me, but I still thought I’ll be fine, and then slipped into my cargo hold on the USS LAWRENCE. A sinking ship for sure; but, it’s mine and not gone under yet, so there is always hope to overcome this sea of TURMOIL, and being overburdened; feeling adrift and lost at sea!
      Yes that’s me! Now hear this all hands on deck, take your battle stations! Operation Safe Harbor is Now Underway! Thank you, Sally; 🌷🤗 for bringing the orders from headquarters!
      Lawrence of the “USS LAWRENCE”

      Liked by 1 person

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