More Moments in Time

Dear Friend,

If you can listen I have a bit of explaining to do and I want to start right off by apologizing for my own lack of fortitude emotionally to see me through a period of several difficult days that reached a fever pitch over the last few!  I’ve been going through something indeed for years now without any final abatement!  It seems like I got over one major obstacle tossed in my path and momentarily feeling like the burden was gone to find that only another was taking its place!  This unrelenting turmoil has taken a drastic toll on my health and appearance causing me much disappointment but I still each day get up with the “can do” objectivity in mind that I can handle anything if the Lord gives me enough inner strength which He always has, but the failure comes with my own flesh being weak not able to match my spirit!  Then when a person or two toss curves at me I get sad and then angry!  I figured I had enough bullshit from people doing harm to me and not the other way around to last me the rest of my life; but who can really know my place or what it’s like being me, as they aren’t in my shoes so there isn’t a true appreciation of who and what I am.  That works both ways and so I see that I have no one to blame but myself for any mishaps and I own up and seek to find peace and resolution, to work at being better at handling whatever burden I have or will have in the future, I really have no choice, it’s do or die and that is how I see it!

You’ve been extremely silent and I’m hoping it’s because you are just way too busy and doing well; just not having a moments time for anyone else’s drama!  I thought of something as I was walking my dog thinking about all of this and I realized why I like the movie “John Wick,” not just because I really like Keanu Reeves and the way the film was put together but mainly because I identity with his sadness and anger in the story plot having been so wronged and then he sets out to take care of business sort of like a human angel or agent of God’s to exact justice and rid the world of some dirt!  But of course that is fantasy and just a good entertaining movie.  I was wronged in most respects far worse than John Wick and my health and even tissues were altered by very wicked minded nefarious persons working for evil!  I’ve been antagonized by evil because evil does seek to destroy and trip any of us up to over react and cause more difficulty, which I have never done nor will I!  I only get hurt and sad then angry and even cry, realizing I must take it and keep going sort of the way Jake LaMotta the famed fighter of “Raging Bull” played by DiNero!  What did he tell Sugar Ray Robinson when he was beat and badly bruised not only physically but emotionally after having the fight called against him, “you never got me down Ray!”  That is quite the metaphor for all of us to consider when life is brutal or when our enemies get the upper hand and knock us on our ass!

I messed up this week and I have a lot I’ve been carrying that pains me deeply and it’s not going away anytime soon and at times looks like it will only get worse!  Then I see how this world is spinning madly out of control Geo-politically and how domestically we have so many screwed up people that are running this country into the ground and morals and values are in the toilet!  Then of course being a man of faith I see that Scriptures indicate “end time” being much like this and that adds the final whammy which puts me over the top emotionally.  After all I’ve been dealing with I’ve grown weary of practically all people even many relatives who aren’t any better than strangers, in some ways worse!

So I get feeling isolated and really sad but that is a “key,” I see myself feeling sorry for myself a little too much perhaps, and that is wrong I don’t want that I would rather feel sorry for sick little children and old ladies and grand dads that are Veterans who served and suffered so badly for all of we Americans!  I’m changing Sir, and I hope completely for the better so that even if I won’t ever be who and what I just was a short number of years OK, it will be only in appearance because inside I will be so much better and more of what God wants me to be for His purpose and plan!  Excuse me I just started crying.

I’m getting close today to forgiving myself for screwing up but most important to me is that you can be the strong man I see and believe you to be; being able to find it within yourself to forgive me.  That will mean a lot to me and maybe make the world of difference in my getting clear of my own demons!

Thank you for your time and expertise along with the insurmountable friendship and fellowship you provided to me all along!

God Bless You and Yours!

With Remorse,

Lawrence  Morra

Hold Onto Your Bottom

HERE IS WHAT I DIDN’T GET TO SAY TO HER YESTERDAY

That all sounds very nice; I could have some long talks with you about your ideas and plans! I once took my cruiser tossed all my tool boxes into the trunk along with my bags and headed west, eventually visiting or stopping over in 43 of these United States before staying in LA, with a lot of stories to tell and even a couple of breakdowns alongside the highway, one where I got my tools out and pulled the carb and intake manifold off the engine to get at the lifters and then hitched a short distance to buy the parts and fixed it up good as new, maybe that would seem self-sustaining to you?

Anyway, if you don’t mind any question, I think if I remember it right, yesterday I was posting a few comments and this A-hole was ragging all over this lady about how he sees abortion as no big deal because it’s only a fetus and she was defending babies in the womb very well but being taunted really bad so I jumped in and said a few mean things to that jerk, I even challenged him to stop saying all that or I would meet him anywhere on the planet to tear his head off!!! Now, mind you I’m not a violent guy at all and I am not the toughest SOB by no means, maybe a bit Pacinoesk or Nicholsonesk when the chips are down, and I hate injustice or scum picking on a lady, grew up with sisters to watch out for, and if the situation is so bad that I have to jump into a physical altercation I will. So far those traits of mine kept it from happening, like the time these two huge steroid head body builders alongside my T-Top muscle car in long beach traffic started a scene when the driver got out of his car and grabbed my passenger side door and started rocking my car like a gorilla and spewed a huge quahog on my shoulder while people were honking horns and screaming at him to get back in his car and move because the traffic light had turned green! I told him you MF pull that f-in POS over on the side up ahead, which he did. I pulled in spun my car around like a scene out of some drama flick and jumped out! I went right up to his massive body and face and said take your best shot and make sure you kill me, because today is your lucky day, you get to pick if you live or die, catch is you have to make up your mind right now if you are going to kill or be killed, go for it; and I was a bit scary looking in my demeanor at that point because this dude all of a sudden stuck his hand out and said, “wow man I don’t believe I did that and I’m sorry,” while his knees were literally knocking and he was shaking like a leaf!!! And I’m no real tough guy, just in my mind I guess and I won’t back down if I know I’m in the right and must stand up and be counted, I admit it’s not a good place to ever be, so it should be avoided with a passion, but kind of like war when a person has to just go for it, they can’t worry about dying or anything!

So two questions actually, was I crazy? And that POS bothering that nice lady has to be wrong because when I was getting on his case I told him; so you think that partial birth abortion is OK? Because you said they are only fetuses and not babies yet, and I went on to describe what happens to a baby in the birth canal when that evil procedure is applied, very graphically!!! I called him evil and anyone that does these things to babies! So, that is my 2nd question I wanted your honest opinion on, as you’re a good caring women with so much advocacy and concern for the planet and life! Was that guy right or were the nice lady and I doing the right thing and speaking for those that have no voice? Was I crazy again or wrong, because the post got deleted after all that!!!

BTW, I don’t usually just randomly open up about such a heavy topic with a lady I only know a little tiny bit from a social network which actually LinkedIn is my only platform of interest, don’t use anything else other than my blog! I guess what I’m saying is, I have a feeling about you for some unknown reason that I can be quite frank and real! I hope I’m right and if not then I apologize in advance for being a moron! Either way I do like you, a lot!

Lawrence Morra

Post Script: An added thought or two maybe three after this was posted and my first respondent had some good things to say about it, at least she liked it!!!

Well thank you June!!! It was a spur of the moment rush of thought that sorta summed up how my mind works when confronted with that age old warning about unintended consequences!!! But, I did get from all that gush, a realization that we are all victims of unintended consequences eventually! And the way the political arena is going here in this Great Land where too many “thoughtless provokers” have created an atmosphere of “pandemonium” it is now quite fitting to bring another clear thought that came to mind yesterday when addressing a socialist fool!!! “When stuck in the world of academia with so many “flaky leftists” for too long, their brains went left along the way and are now in the “twilight zone” of commie pinko polka dotted karl marx purple toed ballerinas!!!”

OK, all of you leftist ballerinas, time to go put on your ballet slippers!